Safety Planning

A safety plan is a personalized guide designed to help an individual and their family stay safer while living in an abusive situation.

For people experiencing domestic violence, it’s important to have a safety plan to lower the risk of being hurt by an abusive partner or family member. Creating a safety plan helps a survivor think through possible situations and how to prepare and respond to those situations, increasing safety for survivors and their loved ones.

Please note: this page is meant to provide an overview and examples of safety planning when living in an abusive situation and might not be the right fit for every person. We recognize that survivors are the experts of their own lives, and we encourage anyone who may need this information to do what is best for their situation. To anyone experiencing domestic violence, please know that you do not have to do this alone. We hope you consider reaching out to a domestic violence agency or calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help creating a personalized safety plan.

Mosaic Family Service’s Crisis Hotline: 214-823-4434.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1(800)799-7233.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline’s Interactive Safety Planning Resource.

Different types of safety plans for different situations.

Safety during an explosive incident

  • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
  • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.
  • Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
  • Identify a trusted friend or neighbor you can confide in and ask that they call 911 or an emergency contact if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
  • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors to signify when you need them to call 911 or an emergency contact. Make sure to communicate and plan who the emergency contact is, and if you would like 911 to be contacted.
  • Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to).
  • Use your own instincts and judgement. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what they want to calm them down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
  • Always remember – you don’t deserve to be hurt or threatened. 

Safety when preparing to leave

  • Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
  • Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
  • Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
  • Keep the shelter phone number close at hand and keep your cell phone on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
  • Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser.
  • Keep your phone and other devices charged, and save the phone numbers for local domestic violence shelters and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
  • Remove apps from your phone that track your location, or turn off location sharing for your apps.
  • Remember – leaving your abuser is the most dangerous time. 

Safety in your home

  • Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
  • Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
  • Inform your child’s school, daycare, etc., about who has permission to pick up your child.
  • Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see them near your home.
  • Never call the abuser from your home. If they have caller ID, they may be able to locate your residence.

Safety with a protective order

  • Keep your protective order on you at all times. (When you change your purse, that should be the first thing that goes in it).
  • Call the police if your partner violates the protective order.
  • Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.
  • Inform family, friends, and neighbors that you have a protective order in effect.

Safety on the job and in public

  • Decide whom at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your abuser if possible).
  • Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
  • Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus, or train. Use a variety of routes to go home by if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e., in your car, on the bus, etc.).

Your safety and emotional health

  • If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
  • If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
  • Have positive thoughts about self and be assertive with others about your needs.

Checklist – what to take when you leave

  • Identification
  • Driver’s license
  • Child’s birth certificate
  • Your birth certificate
  • Money
  • Lease, rental agreement, house deed
  • Bank Books
  • Checkbooks
  • Insurance papers
  • House and car keys
  • Medications
  • Small sellable objects
  • Pictures
  • Medical records (all family members)
  • Address Book
  • Social security card
  • Social security card
  • Welfare identification
  • School records
  • Work permits
  • Green card
  • Passport
  • Divorce papers
  • Jewelry
  • Child’s small toys